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Finding the Balance Between Rigidity and Flexibility

Finding the Balance Between Rigidity and Flexibility

by | Mar 22, 2023

Throughout my life, many people have described me as a “go-getter” type of person. Although that may sound like a positive personality trait, I realized that my “go-getter” personality was infused with other, less helpful, habits such as being overbooked, overstretched, with high expectations for myself that were both overwhelming and unrealistic. I realized that the rigid thinking patterns that I was being praised for created patterns of avoidance and feeling inadequate regardless of what I had accomplished. I realized that although my intention behind the rigidity was to be the best version of myself, those same rigid patterns had inherently impacted my ability to grow as an individual and allow myself to live in the present moment.

As I reflected on my current thought patterns, I also explored the concept of flexibility. Flexible thinking embodies the ability to change direction and adjust to unanticipated circumstances. And although my rigidity served me in many ways, I knew that balance was what I needed to embrace the unpredictability and chaos that life throws at me. 

My experience in incorporating both rigid and flexible thinking patterns into my life got me thinking about how both rigidity and flexibility serve a purpose in recovery. The ability to balance the two incorporates the idea of a recovery mindset that is not possible when falling too close to one extreme. Being able to balance the two means having clear expectations and goals, while also being able to adapt when faced with unforeseeable circumstances. 

Here are 5 journal prompts that you can use to explore balance within your own life:

  1. How do I define success?
  2. What is the difference between feeling panicked and feeling prepared? 
  3. What is the first sign that I have become imbalanced? 
  4. What do I need to let go of that is out of my control today?
  5. What would my day look like if I were more present? 

Regardless of where you fall between rigidity and flexibility, there is always room for continuous growth towards where you want to be. 

Growth Can Feel Unfamiliar

Growth Can Feel Unfamiliar

by | Feb 15, 2023

The quote “there is no shame in admitting that you were previously speaking from a less informed place” really got me thinking about recovery and the mindset changes needed to embody a space that feels both foreign and full of uncertainty when working towards a place of healing. We often hear the phrase “healing isn’t linear”, and although that is absolutely true, there is much more to healing than what could ever be described as any specific trajectory. 

Getting stuck in one viewpoint, in one narrative, can inhibit your ability to view yourself as a holistic person with a story and background specific to you. Challenge yourself to gain information that will eventually create a broader narrative and aid in your self-confidence, power, and approach needed to influence growth and healing. Whether that means talking to a therapist, reading books specific to your needs, asking your support system for help, or engaging in open and honest self-reflection. And although growth can feel unfamiliar, there is no shame in acknowledging that your current mindset towards your body and/or food will hinder long lasting or attainable work within recovery. 

Broaden your narrative by challenging current unhelpful mindsets and reclaim your ability to navigate your own story. Don’t give your eating disorder the power to hold you back from uncovering new perspectives you could have about yourself, others, and your future. 

Colder Weather and Mental Health

Colder Weather and Mental Health

by | Jan 11, 2023

As the weather changes and winter begins, many of us find ourselves adjusting and staying indoors in effort to avoid the cold temperatures. Although there is comfort in that, there is also value in getting outside and honoring your mental health throughout the winter season. When the daylight becomes shorter and the temperatures drop, you may find yourself needing to challenge your current habits to create a healthier mental make-up throughout the season.

Find ways to celebrate winter and express gratitude for the season while it is here. Being in the sun increases the release of a hormone called serotonin in your brain that can aid in mood regulation and the regulation of your circadian rhythm. Making changes to your daily routine can assist you in avoiding a decrease in serotonin levels and a change in mental soundness.

Here are 5 things that you can do to explore honoring your mental health throughout the season:

  • Bundle up and get outside. Whether you go on a hike, engage in winter activities such as sledding and skiing, or take a walk around your neighborhood. 
  • Open your blinds and sit by the window. Enjoy the sun within the comfort and warmth of your home.
  • Keep your social relationships active and stay connected. Plan a get together with coworkers, friends, or family, and engage with your ability to connect throughout the season.  
  • Enjoy a warm beverage to celebrate the colder weather. Try the new holiday flavors and get a taste of the winter season.
  • Get on a sleep schedule that is compatible with your needs. Not getting enough rest hinders your ability to perform daily tasks and keep up with your mental and physical well-being. 

If you find yourself experiencing symptoms that are heavy and overwhelming as the weather changes, seek out a therapist that can support you in working towards a healthier mental make-up.

Season of Connection

Season of Connection

by | Nov 30, 2022

The holiday season is a season of connection. Time spent with family and friends celebrating with both seasoned traditions and new experiences. Because connection can feel vulnerable in a period of distress, you may find yourself wanting to disconnect to protect your eating disorder and the comfort that vulnerability avoidance brings. However, it is your eating disorder that wants you to avoid things that you previously loved to engage in for fear of growth and recovery outside of your current disordered behaviors.

Being truly connected means being seen, heard, and valued for where you are presently. Without being vulnerable and welcoming connection into your life, you are avoiding a crucial piece of the recovery puzzle. Vulnerability in regards to connection can mean different things at different points within recovery. Whether that means being honest with yourself about your eating concerns, being open with your treatment team, reaching out to your support system for help, or challenging yourself to engage in various types of connection that once brought you joy. These steps will aid you in growth towards recovery and a life without restraint.

Remember that your eating disorder is trying to take over. Don’t allow it to diminish the joy and connection you are capable of experiencing this holiday season. Eating disorders thrive in periods of disconnect and solitude. Lean into your ability to connect with your body, your values, and others throughout this holiday season. 

Comparison and Social Media

Comparison and Social Media

by | Oct 26, 2022

We live in a world where validation from others is consistent. Instead of forming an opinion of ourselves based on our own sense of worth and value, we look to outsiders in hopes of feeling assured. Social media has created a space where praise and accolades are given and ultimately expected with each individual post and interaction. 

One of my favorite quotes by Lindsay Kite reads, “When your empowerment is based on others’ physical appraisal of you, it can be taken away as freely as it was given.” (Lindsay Kite, 2020). Whether it’s Tik Tok, Instagram, or any other form of social media, we often rely on others to define our worth, and we then use it to decipher how capable we are in the real world.

Give yourself permission to set boundaries surrounding social media use and consider how each of the following may encourage you to take back your power:

  • Mute or Unfollow- Instead of following pages or individuals who hinder your growth in recovery, you deserve the right to unfollow or mute free of guilt. 
  • Take time off- If you find yourself mindlessly scrolling, comparing yourself to others, or relying on outsiders to decipher your worth, it may be time for a social media break. 
  • Post without alterations- Your body is worthy of acceptance without any photoshop or editing. 
  • Delete comments- You have control over your own page. If someone makes a comment that objectifies you, makes you feel uncomfortable, or discusses your body in any way, you have the power to delete said comment.
  • Post without limitation- Challenge yourself to post pictures for your own enjoyment and because you want to savor the memories, not for the recognition of others. 

Comparison through social media is harmful and unreliable. We are comparing others’ best moments to what may feel like are our worst. Comparison consists of dwelling on the past or encourages anxiety as we think about the future. With so little time to be present, we begin focusing on others’ lives more than our own. When in recovery, we owe it to ourselves to look beyond comparison and take into consideration how social media is impacting beliefs we have about ourselves and the world around us. As we look inward and differentiate between what is helpful and what is not, we reclaim the power that is often given to others.