Is Embodied: A Body Acceptance Group for you? 

Did you know that in our Western culture, negative body image is so pervasive that researchers call this “normative discontent”? That is, it is considered normal to loathe our bodies!

While this, sadly, may be considered “normal,” it is not a benign experience. 

“Ultimately, what body hatred costs us—individually and collectively—is the fullness of life. We lose out on the goodness that comes through our body. And if we are our body, we miss out on experiencing our own goodness and the presence and wisdom that comes from a deep connection to ourselves. We also lose out on connection with others…There is so much goodness within and between us because of our bodies,” (Hillary McBride, PhD). 

As someone who has transformed my own relationship with my body, I am on a mission to help others transform theirs. I do not believe we should accept “normative discontent” as the landing place for our relationships with our bodies. I believe in our ability to heal and transform, individually and collectively, our experiences with our bodies, and, subsequently, ourselves. 

This fall, I am starting another round of Embodied: A body acceptance group. I honestly believe that group is the most powerful venue to confront and change our experiences with our bodies. There is profound power and beauty in the collective experience that group therapy offers. While group can feel vulnerable, it is also the great unifier that threads our experiences together. Joining a community of fellow life travelers, who also want a different experience for themselves and their bodies, is validating, hopeful, and powerful. In group, you are on your own journey, while also witnessing, supporting, and championing others on theirs. Their stories and experience will impact you, just as yours will impact them. Together the group celebrates victories and offers compassion and perspective for the struggle. You are not alone on your journey, and I hope you will join us as we create something beautiful together.

Embodied is a structured 12-week group that combines experiential activities and group process. The group progresses through different themes, building on previous weeks’ activities to build insight, facilitate healing, and accelerate body acceptance. Through engaging in the group, group members will feel more connected to themselves and each other.  

But don’t just take my word for it. Here is some of what previous group members have said about their experience in the Embodied Group:

“I really enjoyed being in group every Monday evening with a group of amazing ladies! I didn’t miss once and really feel like I gained some clarity of my journey and regained some lost confidence.”

“It has helped me be more appreciative of my body! It’s also helped me realize the lies I’ve believed for so many years.”

“I feel more aware of my self-perceptions and how my body actually feels. There is a growing connection that has started, too, and I’m beginning to be kinder to myself and my body.”

“The work made me want to befriend my body- check in on what she is asking from me and remember that we are a team. I am so willing to give her what she wants rather than what I think the world wants for her.”

“It has given me a whole new perspective.”

If you wish for a better relationship with your body, I hope you will consider joining our Embodied group this fall. The group will start on Monday, September 25th, and run Monday evenings from 5:30 pm-7 pm at Balance Health and Healing. I hope to see you there!

The term “embodied” is used frequently in the recovery community. But what does being embodied mean? It signifies feeling connected to your body in a holistic way. Being embodied represents feeling safe in your body, while being able to experience all sensations, physical and emotional, without limitation. Experiencing being embodied is a powerful feeling, although it can be difficult to achieve without tools to support you as you work towards a place of trusting your body, and allowing your body to trust you back.

Here are a few tools you can use to increase embodiment:

1. Mindful movement: Engage in movement without expectation. This includes moving your body in ways that feel meaningful without setting prior expectations, such as time requirements or distance obligations. Try dancing, yoga, or going on a walk. 
2. Sensory awareness: Use your senses to embrace your ability to be present. Identify at least one thing you can taste, touch, smell, hear, and see. Reflect on what it feels like to be present in your body without judgment. 
3. Identify stories: Notice what kind of thoughts you are thinking about your body or your mind. What kind of messages are you receiving from outside sources (movies, social media, friends, family, etc)? These messages can create the stories we tell ourselves about our bodies and/or our abilities.
4. Engage in self-care: Show your body and your mind that you deserve to be celebrated and honored. Take a warm bath, get a massage, or engage in morning meditation. 

In my own life, I have noticed that when I am in a place of embodiment, I am able to be more present. Being connected to my body allows me to identify my needs, show up for myself, and be in a place where I can accept love and connection from others. Being embodied allows me to live in alignment with my core values wholeheartedly.

An eating disorder can impact every facet of life, especially the relationships that matter most to you. If you are in a romantic relationship, and have an eating disorder, there have likely been some difficult conversations about how your ED impacts your relationship, and vice versa. Even though it’s challenging, navigating through eating recovery while in a relationship can also bring depth and strength to both your recovery and your connection with your partner.  

Over the next few blog posts, I’ll be answering some common questions about handling different aspects of recovery while in a relationship. Let’s dive in!

Q: How do I help my significant other understand my experience with my eating disorder?

A: It can feel really hard to explain the experience of an eating disorder to someone who has never had one themselves. Here are a few thoughts that might help:

• Don’t stress about explaining yourself perfectly or getting a complete understanding from your significant other. Gaining understanding is a process, and will take time and experience together. Remember that you and your partner don’t have to understand each other perfectly in order to give and receive meaningful support. 
• Invite them to join a therapy session with you. Talk with your therapist about the possibility of inviting your partner to join a session occasionally. Your therapist can support you in explaining how you’re feeling, and in addressing concerns that you and your partner might have about recovery.
• Share part of a journal entry with your partner, then talk about it together. Sometimes sharing something you’ve written down can be a starting point for a conversation about how you’re feeling.

Q: How can my significant other support me without smothering me?

A: It makes sense that you need both support and space from your partner as you work through recovery. You can’t do recovery alone, but your partner also can’t make recovery happen for you by watching your every move. Some tips for balancing support and space in your relationship:

• Make a structured plan for checking in with your significant other about recovery. Schedule the times you’ll check in, and make an agenda for what you’ll talk about. 
• For example:

Check-in every night at 9:30
1. Be accountable for any ED behaviors from the day.

2. Share a recovery victory that happened today.
3. Make a plan for any challenges coming up tomorrow.

Scheduling daily or weekly check-ins can help you and your significant other stay connected, without feeling like you have to constantly be talking about the eating disorder and nothing else. Let the schedule of your check-ins do the work of starting the conversation.

• Share your treatment goals with your partner, and involve them where possible. Tell your partner what you’re working on with your dietitian and your therapist. If your partner has no idea what’s happening in your recovery, they are more likely to feel like they have to monitor your every move. If you feel like you’re being watched or babysat, you’re likely to feel frustrated and irritated. On the other hand, if you can share what your goals are, and specific ways your partner can help with those goals, you can get support without feeling suffocated.

Q: Won’t talking about my eating disorder just make my partner feel worried and stressed?

A: This is a very common concern that can feel really complicated. A few things to remember:

• Communicating consistently about your recovery is likely to be more helpful than harmful. Your partner is likely to worry more if you don’t talk consistently about how things are going.
• You are not responsible for managing your partner’s worry or stress. It’s up to them to ask for support from you or from others as they manage their own emotions and needs. Allowing your partner to feel their emotions and seek needed support is a healthy way to manage challenges in a relationship. Likewise, your partner should not assign you responsibility for their emotions.
• Sometimes worry and concern can be helpful to your recovery and relationship. If your partner is genuinely expressing concern, that may be valuable feedback that can support your recovery process.

Tune in to my next blog post for more Q and A on relationships!

So, you’re feeling like you might be ready to try working with a therapist. You’re not sure how it will go or what to expect. You’re wondering if talking to someone about your struggles will actually be helpful. What happens if you don’t like your therapist? Or what if talking about your struggles starts to feel overwhelming?

If you’re having any of these thoughts as you consider starting therapy, I want to reassure you that you’re definitely not alone! It makes sense that coming in for your first therapy session can feel a bit intimidating. As a therapist, I’d say that most people feel some nervousness about coming into therapy for the first time. In this blog post, I’ll share my answers to a few of the questions I often hear from people about what to expect from a first therapy session. If you’re thinking about starting therapy, I hope you’ll find something helpful here!

What will my first therapy session be like?

Many therapists will have you fill out a simple questionnaire before your appointment, so they have a bit of information about why you’re wanting to come to therapy before you meet with them. When you first sit down together, your therapist might talk about privacy and confidentiality, and might explain some of the office policies. They might ask you about what made you decide to set an appointment, and what circumstances in your life are relevant to what you want to talk about in therapy. Your therapist might also work with you to set some specific goals for what you hope to get out of therapy. Your first session is also a chance for you to ask your therapist any questions you have.

What should I do to prepare for my first session?

Having some notes on what you’re needing from therapy can be helpful. Same goes for any questions or concerns you’d like to bring up with your therapist. There’s really nothing “required” for the first session except for the paperwork the therapist’s office sends you before your appointment (consent and privacy information, your payment agreement, contact information, etc.,). Having your paperwork filled out before your appointment will help you have all the session time available for talking with your therapist. Planning ahead to get to your therapist’s office a few minutes early can also help you feel less rushed and stressed.

What do I do if I don’t like my therapist?

I can’t speak for all therapists, but I like to let my clients know that it’s important to me that they find a therapist who feels like a good fit for their needs. If someone legitimately feels I’m not a good fit for them, I fully want them to let me know so I can either make adjustments to meet their needs better or support them in finding a therapist who feels like a better fit. You always have permission to do what feels right for you, including bringing up concerns with your therapist, or finding a therapist who feels like a better fit.

What if therapy feels too overwhelming?

Therapy is not always easy. In fact, most of the time, it can be a challenging experience. I know this firsthand as a therapist and someone with lots of experience going to therapy myself! Talking with a stranger about the most difficult parts of your life can be hard. Ideally, your therapist will help you go at a pace that is challenging, but not completely overwhelming. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you can talk with your therapist about what you’re experiencing.

Starting therapy can take a lot of courage! I know I am biased, but I am a firm believer that therapy can be an incredibly helpful experience. You deserve to find the support you need, and I hope this blog post is helpful to you!