They say buying/moving into a new home is one of the top 10 most stressful life events, and I just did it while 7 months pregnant. Now that the process is over (Well, almost. Let’s be honest, organizing a new home feels like a never ending process), I’m very grateful for our new home. However, like any stressful event in life, I feel like there are many takeaway lessons. Here are a few that stood out to me:
- Some things work out. Others don’t. The reason why this is isn’t always clear. While we sold our home for above the asking price in less than 24 hours, buying seemed to be much more difficult. Throughout the process of searching for a home, we had several homes we got our hopes up for that we didn’t end up getting (even when we offered above asking price!). It would have been easy to get down and—don’t get me wrong—we were disappointed more than once. But at the end of the day, while I couldn’t tell you why certain homes didn’t work out, I can tell you that I am beyond grateful for the one that did.
- Even when everything works out, nothing is ever perfect. We ended up finding a home that was more spacious and nicer than we had hoped for, it felt like a dream come true! And it is, but that doesn’t mean everything is perfect. There are still updates and projects we want to do (like painting the blue and brown room…). The trick is to find happiness and be content in the moment, while still having a vision (or setting goals) for your future.
- You can make a decision and then change your mind. And that’s okay. As I take on the task of setting up a new home, I find myself changing my mind on organization and decoration decisions repeatedly. With some things I’ve decided that it’s not a big enough deal to bother with, but other decisions I’ve decided was worth the hassle—why keep the couches I don’t like? Yes, it is a hassle, but it’s also my home. If I decide that I would rather love than like my living area, and am willing to make the effort to make that happen, then I am in full support of not sticking with my original decision.
- Set realistic goals with realistic time frames. You can’t do everything all at once. Ideally, I would have been moved in and fully organized in 1-3 days. Realistically, I am pregnant, have a toddler, work part time, and have physical limitations in what boxes I can even carry up or downstairs. So rather than trying to do everything all at once, I plan daily projects and commit to unpacking a few boxes either day. By setting realistic goals, I have found myself exceeding my expectations and feeling great about it, rather than setting overly ambitious goals and feeling bad when I continually fall short. This isn’t to say don’t push yourself with your goals, only that by setting more realistic goals that you can reach and maintain, you’ll be more likely to stick with them and stay motivated.
- It is important to find a balance between self-reliance and asking for help. I’ve always been mortified of the stories (and personal experiences) where someone asks you for help with something, but actually expects you to do EVERYTHING. Like helping someone move who has done zero packing and it ends up taking 8+ hours of your Saturday that you planned to spend with your family. So when it came to us moving, we knew that with me being 7-months pregnant and the mother of an extremely busy toddler, I wasn’t going to be much help when it came to moving furniture and heavy boxes. However, I was able to be self-reliant by packing up all of our belongings so that when we did have to reach out to others for help, we only took an hour of their time with the actual moving.
Remember, you can’t do it all yourself, but it also is not everyone else’s responsibility to do it for you.
Whatever stressful life events you’ve dealt with, are dealing with, or have in your future, try to find the good and use it as a catalyst for growth, even though it could easily be a trigger for a downward spiral.