I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but life does not get easier. Trials will still be thrown our way, bad things happen to good people, and the unexpected doesn’t stop happening. More than a few individuals have asked me, “I’ve gone through so much, when will it be my turn for a break and for life to just be easy for once?” These people are most often waiting for some sort of external force to cause them to have an easier life.

And while there are those lucky few who get this, most of us must take a proactive approach, look inward, and take concrete steps to make your life easier by focusing on how you manage it. Below are some ideas for how you can become more proficient at managing your own life, thus, making life feel easier.

  1. Focus on what you can control and learn how to let go of what you can’t. Typically, the only thing you have full control over is yourself, so that always has to be your focus when looking to change something in your life. Don’t ask yourself what someone else could do or how circumstances could change to make things easier, only ask yourself, “What do I have the power to change?” and then take the appropriate steps to make that happen. When we focus on what we can control and let go of what we can’t, we reduce stress and simplify our lives, making it much easier to manage.
  2. Never underestimate the power of good communication–Ask for what you want! Many people do not live the lives they envision because they are too timid to ask for what they want. Or to say no to what they don’t! Never assume that others can read your mind or should know what you need. The only way for people to truly know what you want or need, is for you to clearly tell them. While simply asking or telling does not ensure that you will get what you want, it improves your odds significantly. Life tends to feel much easier when we proactively practice good communication.
  3. Understand that you have a choice and can make a change. I recognize that there are certain circumstances outside of your control; however, you always have a choice in your response, and often, much more.You may feel that you are simply stuck and forever doomed to your current situation or circumstance. This is almost never the case. More often, the choices and changes you have control over are difficult, require you to step outside of your comfort zone, do something proactive (doing nothing is still a choice), be brave, or make a sacrifice that you do not want to make. It is important to remember that even if the choice is difficult, it still exists. It is up to you to decide how to move forward. When we realize this, we are empowered, and feel more adept to manage life.
  4. Have a good attitude. Whether you’re a natural optimist or not, focusing on having a positive attitude and looking for the silver lining improves your resiliency and makes life easier. Two people with the exact same circumstance can feel significantly more or less empowered in their ability to handle life based on their attitude alone. Problem solve rather than complain, be understanding not offended, look for the good rather than focusing on the bad. “Change your attitude and you change your life. You cannot control what happens to you in your life, but you can always control how you respond to it.” – Roy Bennett.

So while an external force may not swoop in and make your life easy, you have the power to make it easier by focusing on what you can control, communicating clearly, proactively making choices and having a positive attitude!